So I was listening to the radio today and, supposedly, there is a Facebook app that tracks specific people’s relationship status. So if you are friend with a guy and you keep stalking him to see if he is still in a relationship, you can install this app and it will send you an email when his relationship status changes. I laughed out loud and thought to myself “Its so sad and pathetic to stalk someone’s relationship status.” Then I thought about all the reasons why I facebook stalk people and I realized that I too, am sad and pathetic.
1) To get a heads up when people I don’t want to see are in town. Having lived in the exact same 30 mile radius my entire life, I have collected quite a list of people in and from Orange County who I enjoy, and those I would rather avoid. You know the phrase “keep your friends close and your enemies closer?” Well I like to keep my “enemies” on Facebook so I know where they are going to be and I can avoid them. Does that make me a bad person? Possibly. But I’m a firm believer in the idea that, while we should all be nice to everyone we are forced to see on a daily basis, it’s also a good idea to stay clear of those poeple who just don’t gel with you.
2) To get a heads up when people I do want to see are in town. The stalking works both ways. Just the other day a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a long time posted that she was going to Disneyland. Just so happened I was going that day too. So I messaged her and we met up at the happiest place on earth. It was a wonderful surprise meet up that would not have been possible without my stealthy facebook stalking skills.
3) To see pictures of events I wasn’t invited to or just didn’t feel like going too. You know how it is. That girl you were best friends with that one summer in high school gets married, and your slightly hurt that she didn’t invite you, so you go look at the pictures so you can find things wrong with the wedding and make yourself feel better. Or, for those of you who are super positive and are starting to get annoyed with my cynical sarcasm, picture stalking is also great if you have friends and family that live far away. Some of our nieces and nephews live in Maryland and I’m so thankful that my sister in law posts pictures of them on Facebook so I can see them grow up.
4) To keep up to date on everyone’s relationship status. Okay okay, you caught me! I’m just as bad as those lame girls listening to KISS FM who downloaded the “stalk his relationship status” app. Only my motivation is totally different. Having successfully snagged a man (something that still amazes even my closes friends…really? Brianna got a guy? What the hell?) I don’t need to stalk the status of potential dates. Its just that, since my relationship status won’t change till one of us dies, I find it very intriguing to watch other people’s change. Its tragically entertaining to watch those millions of sappy PDA pictures come down in a day because someone got caught writing flirty texts to his coworker. On the other hand, it makes me so happy to watch couples evolve from just dating, to loving each other, to engaged to married. What can I say? I am a sucker for relationships.
5) To Get information. Occasionally there are legitimate reasons for me to be on Facebook and I actually gain useful information from my stalking. A lot of my friends go to Disneyland often and they’ll post things about how crowded it is, fun things to do there, etc. My friends often post their Yelp check ins, Groupons and Living Social deals so I get great ideas on where to eat and shop. And of course, I’ve got plenty of mom and wife friends who post helpful tips on cooking, cleaning, marriage and family.
I know I can’t be the only sad and pathetic one out there. Who else is a Facebook Stalker? Why do you stalk people?