No, this is not a post about me being transgendered. This is a post about my life as a church kid. I know, I know, the transgendered thing would probably be more interesting. My experiences as a church kid appear, from the outside, to be pretty vanilla. I wasn’t abused by a church leader, I never left the church to experience other religions, and I definitely didn’t go on a crazed drug spree, see a vision of Jesus while on an acid trip and then come back to the church weeping for forgiveness. Although my stories of being a church kid lack a certain dramatic flair, they taught me a lot about God, people and the jacked up world we call home, and these are insights I’d like to share with you. In between, of course, posts about ultrasounds, picking out baby items and the fact that I now have to use a rubber band to hold my pants up because they no longer button 😉
I’ve been going to church my entire life. Somewhere along the way I learned a valuable lesson that most church kids miss out on: God is not The Church. The Church is supposed to represent God, is supposed to show His love to all people and to teach people about God. But The Church is human, and God is divine. The Church makes mistakes, and God doesn’t. The Church abandons God, God does not abandon The Church.
I’m not sure where or how I learned this lesson. I don’t remember by parents ever sitting me down and saying “Brianna, God and church people are not the same.” But I think it was something they, and other adults in my life, taught me by example. At a very young age I knew that God could heal people, but people couldn’t heal people. I started prophesying when I was about 12, so I knew the difference between God’s voice and people’s voices. I just knew that God was more powerful, more loving, and more knowledgeable than any human. So when people, Christian people, betrayed me, hurt me, lied to me, disappointed me, and ignored me, I never once thought that God was doing any of that.
This outlook meant that I never turned my back on God because of things that went wrong in church. However, it also meant that for a long time I didn’t think I needed the church or other Christians. I had friends that were Christians, and I went to church every Sunday because I had too, but my general attitude was ” God and I are tight, the rest of you are crazy.”
To be continued