The following conversation happened at about 2:30 am a few mornings ago, when Husband came home from his closing shift. I found it humorous and thought it would bring some laughter to your Monday.
Me: Did you bring home food?
Husband (hesitantly, because he knows what that question means): Yes
Me: Can I have some fries?
Husband: I didn’t get fries.
Me: What? Who gets fast food without fries?
Husband: Well I went to Del Taco and I never get their fries.
Me: Oh (and I look at him with my saddest puppy dog eyes)
Husband (now slightly annoyed): Do you want one of my tacos?
Husband (as he hands me the taco): Why are your fingers so red?
Me: Because I ate three boxes of nerds before bed.
Me: Hey, they were apple watermelon flavored, the perfect combination of sweet and sour. I couldn’t help myself! Although, I’ll admit, the third one was definitely a mistake. I didn’t feel so hot after that.
Husband: Do you still want the taco?
Me: Duh! Hand it over. With some hot sauce too.
Husband later complained that he had a taco sized hole in his stomach. I just blamed it on the baby, rolled over and went to sleep. That poor man, pregnancy has not been nice to him.