Tag Archives: Bible

Just Sex


I’m sad that frustration has brought me back from my week long blogging hiatus. I have been super busy and have so many interesting things to report. Yet it is my most hated blog topic, politics, that consumes my thoughts to the point that I can’t wait to blog on my laptop but must pen these thoughts on the iPhone.

Prop 8 was ruled as illegal by a federal judge today. But what I would like focus on is something I heard on Kiss FM this morning. Callers were discussing the idea of “open marriages” in which spouses decide that it’s ok to cheat on each other as long as they follow the rules agreed upon by both husband and wife. Most people, most women actually, were outraged by the idea. One wife, however, said she is involved in such a marriage and has been for ten years. Her sex drive is much stronger than her husbands, so she goes outside of the marriage for sex. She clarified that it was “just sex” and that she “made love” only to her husband.

Just sex. That is the moral dilemma facing current culture. The attitude that it’s just sex before marriage, it just sex outside a marriage, it’s just homosexual sex, it’s just a marriage, just a divorce, just a relationship. Nobody cares about sexual morality. Nobody cares about commitment and promises. Nobody cares about each other.

I find it extremely ironic and painful that in a society so focused on loving and accepting everybody, we refuse to see the damage we are doing to one another with our promiscuity. My husband and I had sex with each other before we were married. And I regret it every single day. Everyone told us that it was fine since we had been going out for so long and were planning on getting married. Even my Christian friends approved. And yet on my wedding night, I felt disappointment and shame. Not only for myself, but for my husband. When I decided to have sex, I wasn’t thinking about what was best for him, I was thinking about what I wanted. I let my selfish lust take away something he could never get back. And that, my friends, is a shitty way to start a marriage.

I can hear the comments now. People are going to make the illogical assumption that I am accusing all this opposed to prop 8 of being sexually promiscuous. I’m not. I know lots of people in committed and healthy marriages and relationship who simply want homosexuals to be able to experience that same joy. And you want to know something? I do to! I wish with all my heart that God, the source of truth, allowed homosexuality. I wish he allowed premarital sex. It would have been awesome not to feel guilty every time I did it without a wedding ring. I wish I could stay happily married to my husband and still make out with David Boreanz from Bones. But it doesn’t work that way. So, while I do want my single girlfriends to live it up, meet new guys and have fun dating, I can’t support their one night stands. And while I can imagine the frustration of a husband whose wife no longer has sex with him, I cannot justify his cheating. And while I would love to see my homosexual friends in legalized happy marriages, I could not justify voting no against prop 8.

It’s not “just sex.” It’s a gift God gave us. It’s a privilege, not a right. And I will no longer stand silently by as I see ALL sexual immorality slowly destroy the lives of my friends, my family, my culture, my country.