Tag Archives: christmas

First Time Mommy First Time Holidays

Standard

First time mom’s are annoying. They panic about everything, they post a million photos of their babies on Facebook, and caring for their child has sucked out all their brain cells so the only things they are capable of thinking or talking about are kid related. I’ve tried very hard over the past 5 weeks to not be an annoying first time mom. I haven’t always been successful (as my Facebook friends can attest too) but I’ve put forth a gallant effort. But here’s the thing. The holidays are coming up and I can feel the first time mom craziness getting stronger. I have this crazy urge to teach my infant son how to bake sugar cookies he isn’t even old enough to eat yet. I want to carve a giant pumpkin, stick my kid in it, and set him on the porch to amuse trick or treaters. I want to spend $100 to take my baby to Disneyland for Christmas time, even though he’ll spend the entire day nursing or sleeping and caring for him means I won’t get to go on any rides. It’s safe to say that as I gear up to celebrate my first holiday season with a child, I will not be able to control the crazy. Here are some of the fun things you can expect to see/hear about in the upcoming months.

Photos of AJ  dressed as a pumpkin sitting in a pumpkin patch

I use the term “sitting” loosely because he won’t be old enough to sit on his own when we visit pumpkin patches (yes we will visit multiple patches). But you can bet your booty I’ll find a way to prop him up amongst the squash and take a gazillion photos with annoying captions like ” my little pumpkin in the pumpkin patch.”

Dressing AJ up in multiple Halloween costumes

Joe and I just have too many good ideas. The baby from The Hangover. Baby in a straight jacket onesie. The previously mentioned pumpkin outfit. We might drag this out and make dressing up a week long event.

Taking AJ trick or treating

Haven’t decided if we will go trick or treating or go trunk or treating at the church carnival, but either way I’m using my baby’s cuteness to score some free candy.

Taking photos of AJ next to the turkey and laughing about their closeness in size

I hate it when people post pictures of food on Facebook, but I will break my own rules about food posts to show you that my baby is roughly the size of a turkey. I’ll probably throw in a joke about them looking similar because both are bald. And I will expect you to like the photo because babies and turkeys are comedy gold. I mean, who doesn’t want to think about babies as they stuff their faces with meat carcass? You’re welcome.

Buying Christmas presents

The kid will be 4 months old at Christmas. I could wrap up the toys he already has and he wouldn’t know the difference. Heck, I could get him nothing and he wouldn’t care. If I were a truly rational parent, I would get him nothing and invest all his gift money into a college fund. But I’ve already started scoping out toys that are appropriate to give to a 4 month old. And its very possible I will go Black Friday shopping with my sister in law to get said toys. First time momming at its finest.

Volunteering my child to play Jesus in the live Nativity at church

Yes, I am conceited enough to think my child can lay still in a manger for hours whilst portraying the holy and perfect Son of God. You disagree? Shut up, I’ll cut you.

Visiting Santa

This is particularly ridiculous for me because Joe and I don’t plan on telling AJ that Santa is real. So why waste time and energy taking him to visit Santa? One of the rules of being first time mom is that you must take advantage of as many photo opportunities as possible. This is especially true during the holidays. Besides, the Santa at Disney’s Grand Californian is so real looking, its possible that after one picture our whole family may start believing in the magic that is Santa.

I’m sure I’ll think of plenty of other ridiculous things to do with my baby to celebrate the holidays. Feel free to poke fun at me, but don’t be too harsh. Because while I’m aware that I’m being crazy, the truth of the matter is you only get to celebrate your first time mom holidays once, and I want to make the most of it 🙂

Gift Giving Studs and Duds

Standard

I have recently determined that gift giving is an art. Some people have the talent of giving great gifts and some people don’t. My husband is an awesome gift giver. I’ll say that I want something just once and he’ll remember it six months later when my birthday comes around. Plus he is really good at figuring out what I want even when I don’t know what I want. Last Christmas he got me a great cook book called “Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee.” I didn’t think I wanted a cookbook but as soon as I started using it I loved it. His gifts always show that he cares. I was recently diagnosed with Asthma so he bought me air purifiers. This demonstrates another characteristic of a great gift giver- they don’t always wait for a special occasion. The air purifier was just something he got to help me feel better. He’s just like Phil Dunphy on Modern Family.

 I, however, am a total dud when it comes to giving gifts. I can never remember what Joe has said he wants throughout the year. I’m horrible at thinking up thoughtful gifts for him. And on the rare occasion that I do think of something thoughtful or sentimental, something always goes wrong and it becomes the worst gift ever. Exhibit A, Claire Dunphy

 The worst thing about being a gift giving dud is that people, especially those who are good at giving gifts, think that you are being lazy or you just don’t care about giving them a good gift. Whenever I ask Joe what he wants he says “just let your love guide you.” Are you freaking kidding me, Joe? My love is telling me to punch you in the face and get you a gift card. Jeez. But, alas, I have become more and more determined to give everyone better gifts, especially my husband. So here are some new gift giving habits I’ve started.

1)      Remember what they want. Most phones come equipped with some sort of note taking function. Every time that hard-to-buy-for-person mentions something they would like, whip out the cell phone and type it in. Keeping a running list throughout the year will make it much easier to shop when Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries roll around.

2)      Start a gift savings fund. Some people are just always going to be more expensive to buy for. Expensive gifts are really the only gifts that make my husband happy. Not because he actually cares about the price, but because he has very expensive interests and hobbies (cigars, golf, restoring his VW Bug). We have a joint savings account we put a little bit of money into every month. We use that money just for buying gifts for each other and other people. And I always put away a little extra for him and his damn picky taste in gifts.

3)      Get help. It’s definitely okay to talk to close friends and family members of the person you’re trying to buy for to get a better idea of what they would like. If you’re like me, however, and you often are the close friend and/or family member, you’re screwed.

4)      Don’t wait until the last minute. I’ve learned that if I see something I think my husband will like, I need to buy it right then. If I don’t, chances are it won’t be there when I need it or I’ll totally forget about it and be at a loss when the dreaded month of December rolls around (did I mention his birthday is in December? Ya, my life gets real crappy after Thanksgiving).

5)      Try not to stress and try not to make it a competition. I confess to being a total hypocrite on this one. Last Christmas I got Joe a KitchenAid mixer and was more excited about winning the “gift giving contest” than I was about making him happy with the perfect gift. I let my competitiveness get the better of me. And when I don’t get him a good gift, I get totally stressed and feel like the world’s worst wife. I need to just calm down, enjoy the process, and remember that in the case of my husband, a good trip around the bases will cure any gift giving mishap 😉