Tag Archives: excercise

Down for the Calorie Count


I hate calories. Those little jerks have ruined my life. Every time I go out to eat they are right there on the menu. O, you want that delicious piece of pizza? Well too bad because its 600 calories and that would take you three hours of Wii Fit Super Hula Hooping to burn off. You best go with a salad. But wait, don’t even think about putting delicious bleu cheese dressing on it. That makes it just as fattening as the pizza. You should just eat it dry, with a glass of water, and then go kill yourself.

I never use to have to worry about calories. I used to be a skinny little bitch. And sure, I caused drama and was super stressed all the time and cared alot less about being a decent human being…but dang I looked good! Now that I’m all married and happy with a great desk job and nothing to worry about, I’m plumping up like a turkey near Thanksgiving. And if I hope to maintain even the slightest bit of my rockin pre marriage bod, I’m gonna have to started counting those stupid calories.

You know what I hate most about calories? Well I’ll tell you. They are EVERYWHERE. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich today and looked at the calorie count for jelly. Do you know how many calories are in a serving of jelly? FIFTY! 5-0. Jelly isn’t even a food, its a condiment and its flooded with an insane amount of calories. Ridiculous.

You know what else I hate about calories? They are insanely hard to burn off. The other day I was doing aerobics on my Wii Fit for half an hour. And I’m not saying I was logged onto the Wii Fit for half an hour but only worked out for 15 minutes…NO…I was running and hula hooping and kickboxing for a full 30 minutes. And that idiotic little balance board pops up and says “Congratulations! You just worked off 100 calories…thats a whole granola bar.” ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME, BALANCE BOARD? THAT’S IT? I can barely breathe, my legs are about to fall off and I can’t lift my arms, and you’re telling me that all I burned off was a snack? A pizza crust has more than 100 calories. This is stupid.

So you know what? I’m just going to forget about calories. I’m gonna eat five servings of fruits and vegetables, drink 8 glasses of water and do some form of enjoyable excercise every day. I’ll also try to cut back on dairy, not because of the calories but because its bad for my cholesterol and my friends are really getting tired of smelling my dairy toots.


Things That Make Me Giggle With Glee



1)      Gummy Vitamins. I discovered these little health treasures at Target a few months ago. I’m really bad at remembering to take daily pills (unless they keep me from getting pregnant) and vitamins are the worst. I never remember to take those. But these adult gummy vitamins are fantastic. I keep them on my nightstand and every morning I get to wake up to a tasty treat that’s good for me. And all you serious health nuts out there, don’t you dare write a comment telling me how those things have a bunch of sugar and gelatin is gross and blah, blah, blah. Taking crappy vitamins is better than not taking any at all.

2)      My nicely pedicured toes. I usually only get pedicures in the summer because constantly wearing flip flops makes my feet all dry and nasty. My mom and I went on Saturday and I was in feet heaven. We always go to a place called Finest Nails located in the Arbor Shopping Center on El Toro in Lake Forest. It’s very clean, the ladies are super nice and they always do top notch work. I sat in a comfy spa chair, they rubbed off my calluses, massaged my feet and painted adorable palm trees on my big toes. Just looking at them makes me relax.

3)      Wii Fit. Arguably my new favorite thing (it’s a tie between this and the iphone.) I have always hated organized exercising. I like doing active things like swimming and hiking, but going to the gym or taking an exercise class has never really been my thing. But since my lifestyle has changed in the past year and exercise is not longer a natural part of my daily routine, I’ve had to start putting time, thought and effort into exercising. The Wii Fit is something I can easily do at home any time I want. It’s fun and there are lots of different kinds of exercises I can do. My favorites are boxing and yoga. Plus my husband enjoys doing it, and he hates exercise more than I do! (just realized I started to sound kind of “infomerciallly” for those last few sentences. Sorry)

4)      My iPhone 4. Where do I even begin? I love the touch screen, the built in ipod, the voice recording device, the camera and the cute cover I got to protect it all. And don’t even get me started on the apps. Epicurious, CNN, Facebook, In N Out locater, Craft Finder, MLB At Bat, WordPress, HootSuite, Twitter, Instapaper, Shop Savvy, Fandango….I love them all.  I may never be able to go back to a regular cell phone again.

5)      Our fan. I love the heat, and Joe is pretty neutral towards it, so we usually don’t run the AC in the apartment. But sometimes we need a breeze to cool us down, especially when we are sleeping.  Enter the fan. We just aim that baby right at our bed and we are good to go. Its refreshing and cheap, two of my favorite things.