Tag Archives: marriage

3 Years and 3 Pieces of Advice

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We celebrated our wedding anniversary at The Loft at the Montage Resort in Laguna Beach. Best eating out experience EVER

In June, the Hubs and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary. Seriously, three years has gone by so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was laughing at my bridesmaids as I made them try on ugly dresses, and husband and I were arguing about the wedding color scheme (both true stories).

On our anniversary, I asked Husband what has surprised him most about marriage. He said he was most surprised by how easy it was. I couldn’t agree more. You see, when most people get married all they see is rainbows and butterflies. They imagine a life of perfect bliss and then are sad and disappointed when they realize that marriage isn’t a fairy tale, it’s real life. Husband and I were the opposite. We expected the worst. Okay okay, not the worst. We wouldn’t have married each other if we had expected the whole thing to be a giant poo storm. However, we were very realistic about the whole thing. We have two couples to thank for that- my parents and Joe’s second oldest brother and his wife. Both those couples have awesome marriages that started out rocky. And both were very honest with us about those struggles and how they overcame them. We took those lessons very seriously and as soon as we said “I do,” we braced ourselves.

But a funny thing happened. In listening to those couples, and our premarital counselors, and other strong couples, I guess we actually learned some things. Without even realizing it, we put their advice into practice. The way that they solved their problems was the way that we avoided many of our own. And sure, there have been some not-so fun moments and some difficult situations we’ve had to overcome, but overall, we are both extremely happy with the way these first three years have panned out. I think we have built a solid foundation so that if, in the upcoming years, some truly crappy things do happen to us, we’ll be ready to battle them together.

After only three years, I am by no means a marriage expert. However, I’ll end this post with three pieces of advice that have helped Husband and I over the years. As wedding season continues and more people head into wedded bliss, I hope you’re able to make your first few years of marriage a little easier by following this advice.

  1. Always keep Christ at the center of your marriage. His relationship with the Church is the perfect example of what a perfect marriage should look like. Read the Gospels, see how Jesus served the people on earth and the way he talks about the church, and apply those principals to your marriage.
  2. No marriage is an island. I can’t tell you how many times I was worried about something in our relationship only to realize that one of my girlfriends had experienced the exact same thing in the past and had great advice on how to overcome that particular struggle. It’s so important to stay in fellowship with other Christian couples who are just as committed to their marriages as you are to yours, so that you can all encourage each other, pray for one another, and give advice.
  3. Learn how to communicate with your spouse. There are a ton of books on this, some you may find helpful and some you may not. But the reality is there is no one magic formula for perfect communication. It’s a lot of trial and error and it takes a lot of patience. Husband and I still don’t communicate even close to perfectly, but we are much better than we were 3 years ago. Learning to communicate effectively has helped minimize fights, misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

YOUR TURN! What marriage advice do you have for all the 2012 newlyweds?

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Three Really Really Awesome Days

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The other day I was reading an article in Reader’s Digest where people described their best days ever. I wanted to do the same, but alas, I’m really bad at picking favorites or bests. But of all 8,928 days I have been living (and yes, that is the exact amount of days I have been living) I can point out three really really really awesome days. They are, in no particular order:

  1. The day I rocked my speech competition. I was in speech and debate all three years of college and my best day in three years occurred during my freshman year. I was doing an event called Impromptu in which I was given a phrase and then had two minutes to come with a 5 minute speech about that phrase. I did well throughout the whole tournament and made it to semi-finals. My phrase was “I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.” As soon as I read it, inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks. I came up with three brillant examples, linked them all back to my thesis and referred to the phrase several times throughout the speech. Not only was it brillant, it was hysterica! I had the whole room doubled over in laughter on several occasions during that 5 minutes. It was the best feeling in the world. For one thing I was the center of attention, which I always love. But more importantly, I was making people laugh. They were enjoying listening to me as much as I was enjoying talking. It was like going on a first date and hitting off really well with the other person. It was the best high ever.
  2. Our one year anniversary. Joe and I celebrated our one year anniversary by going down to San Diego for the weekend. That Saturday we were down there the whole day and it is by far my favorite memory with Joe. We were completly relaxed and carefree. We ate delicious food, went on a go cart tour, saw some beautiful beach sceneryand thouroughly enjoyed eachother’s company all day. That day confirmed what I had already known;  marrying Joe was the best decision of my life. Our wedding day was awesome, but there was something so special about being with him after a year and feeling even more excited and in love than we did on our wedding day. Our first year of marriage was so much fun and ending it San Diego was absolutely perfect.

    The hubs and I riding go carts in San Diego. Shelter Island, to be exact

  3. My day in Laihana. When I was growing up, the number one place I wanted to visit was Hawaii. When I was in college I got to go to Oahu with my family and godparents. That was so much fun! After I graduated I visited a friend in Maui. OMYGOSH! That island is absolutely stunning and I spent the entire ten days with my mouth open in awe and my camera taking 1,000 pictures a minute. There are so many wonderful memories from that trip but my favorite has to be when me and my friends Naphtali and Debra went to the adorable town of Laihana. On the way out there, we blasted Kelly Clarkson, rolled the windows down and stared at the beautiful ocean. Once we got there we went on a submarine tour, ate at Cheeseburger in Paradise (quite possibly the best burger place ever), got henna tatoos, shopped and just enjoyed being young, single and girls! Not only that, but my hair looked awesome, my make up was even better, and I was still rocking the college bod.Everything about that day was actually perfect and it will forever stick out in my mind as the best pre marriage vacation day EVER!

What about you? What has been your best day (or days) ever?