Here’s the thing. I was under the impression that pregnancy came with a magical nesting hormone that motivated all women to start cleaning, organizing, decorating and even cooking. Seeing as I’ve never been one to enjoy any of those activities, I was really looking forward to the biological change that would suddenly transform me from a passive Pinterest user into one that actually did the projects she pinned.
And yet here I am at 30 weeks and I’ve got nothing. Over the long Memorial Day weekend I tried to muster up some nesting feelings and went into the babies room to start organizing. BORING! I lasted an hour. Yes, I did get some necessary cleaning and organizing done, but it felt the same way cleaning and organizing felt before I was pregnant. It felt like a chore. A chore I was happy to do because I knew it would prepare for the baby, but a chore nonetheless. There was nothing magical about it.
Meanwhile, Mr Alexander is in nesting overdrive. That man has knitted three hats and four stuffed animals for his son, painted the baby’s room by himself and he just finished making a pallet headboard for our bed. Next on his list is refinishing some shelves and creating some art for the babies room. And now that he has a Pinterest account, the good Lord only knows what other types of projects are going to pop up around the house within the next 10 weeks.
The real kicker in this whole scenario is that while I didn’t get the nesting hormone, I definitely got all the other crappy hormones that come with pregnancy. My lack of a nesting hormone (combined with the fact that I ruined the homemade granola I tried to make) triggered my emotional hormone last night and I was fighting back tears as I verbalized my frustrations to my husband. While hubs listened dutifully, he wasn’t really in the comforting mood and so I was forced to “self soothe.” (Yes, he actually uses that term with me when I’m upset over things he considers trivial…”B, you’re gonna have to self soothe with this one”). And the conclusion I came to was this: I don’t have to be a nesting mom. I’ve got other good mom traits. I can help with homework. I can give advice on friends. I can teach Aaron how not to be annoying on Instagram. I can cheer at sports tournaments and encourage him in musical endeavors. And I can take him a gazillion field trips. Seriously, I cannot wait until he is old enough to go places like the zoo and Discovery Science Center, and do activities like fish, camp and play with sidewalk chalk. Hopefully we will keep him so busy he won’t even notice that his room is lame. Unless of course this nesting hormone of daddy’s sticks around. In which case he’ll have an awesome room and awesome experiences. Which will pretty much make us awesome parents.
All that to say, if any of you mommas are feeling insecure about a certain aspect of motherhood, just take a moment to self soothe and think about all the good mom traits you have. Write them out, stick them on your mirror, dashboard, coffee pot or any place where you will see the list often and then daily remind yourself of your strengths. As for your weaknesses, either work on them or be content with letting your partner shine in those areas 🙂
P.S. I hope that the whole self soothing thing doesn’t make my husband come off as disinterested or uncaring. This is not true at all as he is one of the most caring people I know. But he knows me well enough by now to know when I’m genuinely upset and when I’m just temporarily upset. And he knows I usually work out the temporary upsets better on my own, hence the whole “self soothing” thing. It works for us 🙂