Tag Archives: oc mom blogs

Where Is My Nesting Hormone?

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Here’s the thing. I was under the impression that pregnancy came with a magical nesting hormone that motivated all women to start cleaning, organizing, decorating and even cooking. Seeing as I’ve never been one to enjoy any of those activities, I was really looking forward to the biological change that would suddenly transform me from a passive Pinterest user into one that actually did the projects she pinned.

And yet here I am at 30 weeks and I’ve got nothing. Over the long Memorial Day weekend I tried to muster up some nesting feelings and went into the babies room to start organizing. BORING! I lasted an hour. Yes, I did get some necessary cleaning and organizing done, but it felt the same way cleaning and organizing felt before I was pregnant. It felt like a chore. A chore I was happy to do because I knew it would prepare for the baby, but a chore nonetheless. There was nothing magical about it.

Meanwhile, Mr Alexander is in nesting overdrive. That man has knitted three hats and four stuffed animals for his son, painted the baby’s room by himself and he just finished making a pallet headboard for our bed. Next on his list is refinishing some shelves and creating some art for the babies room. And now that he has a Pinterest account, the good Lord only knows what other types of projects are going to pop up around the house within the next 10 weeks.

The real kicker in this whole scenario is that while I didn’t get the nesting hormone, I definitely got all the other crappy hormones that come with pregnancy. My lack of a nesting hormone (combined with the fact that I ruined the homemade granola I tried to make) triggered my emotional hormone last night and I was fighting back tears as I verbalized my frustrations to my husband. While hubs listened dutifully, he wasn’t really in the comforting mood and so I was forced to “self soothe.” (Yes, he actually uses that term with me when I’m upset over things he considers trivial…”B, you’re gonna have to self soothe with this one”). And the conclusion I came to was this: I don’t have to be a nesting mom. I’ve got other good mom traits. I can help with homework. I can give advice on friends. I can teach Aaron how not to be annoying on Instagram. I can cheer at sports tournaments and encourage him in musical endeavors. And I can take him a gazillion field trips. Seriously, I cannot wait until he is old enough to go places like the zoo and Discovery Science Center, and do activities like fish, camp and play with sidewalk chalk. Hopefully we will keep him so busy he won’t even notice that his room is lame. Unless of course this nesting hormone of daddy’s sticks around. In which case he’ll have an awesome room and awesome experiences. Which will pretty much make us awesome parents.

All that to say, if any of you mommas are feeling insecure about a certain aspect of motherhood, just take a moment to self soothe and think about all the good mom traits you have. Write them out, stick them on your mirror, dashboard, coffee pot or any place where you will see the list often and then daily remind yourself of your strengths. As for your weaknesses, either work on them or be content with letting your partner shine in those areas 🙂

P.S. I hope that the whole self soothing thing doesn’t make my husband come off as disinterested or uncaring. This is not true at all as he is one of the most caring people I know. But he knows me well enough by now to know when I’m genuinely upset and when I’m just temporarily upset. And he knows I usually work out the temporary upsets better on my own, hence the whole “self soothing” thing. It works for us 🙂

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Just Give Me The Drugs and Make It Stop

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NOTE: This blog was written about 3 weeks ago. So in case any of you are keeping close tabs on my health and how far along I am, the timing in this blog is going to sound off. For those of you who have a hard time remembering that I’m even pregnant, this small factoid has no impact on your enjoyment of this article whatsoever.)

I’ve never been one to use medication at the first sign of sickness. I’m not against using medicine, I just prefer to tough it out or use natural remedies. About 80% of the time that works and I don’t need medicine. But then there’s that other 20%…

I haven’t blogged about it much, but those of you who know me personally know that I’ve been nauseous all day every day since I found out I was pregnant. (Side note: I’ve written that word at least 100 times and can never spell it right. I always have to look it up.) For the past 13 weeks I’ve been toughing it out, using natural remedies such as peppermint, change in diet, acupressure, etc. But instead of getting better, it kept getting worse. The last two weeks it was so bad that I had no appetite and every time I ate it was followed by a bouts of pain and serious research into the possibility of stomach transplants.

Yesterday was the final straw. Remember my last post about the wonders of Tums? Those wonders lasted a day. After that,  I went into work and after 40 minutes had to leave because the sickness was so bad. I got home and called my Dr office, choking back tears as I begged for medication.

“Do you want Zofran?”

“Sure, whatever you normally give people in this situation, I’ll take it. Just make it stop!!!!”

As I was waiting for my prescription, I struggled with feelings of failure. I had wanted so badly to stay away from medication, to eat healthy and to exercise to provide the best environment for the little bean. I’d learned early on that exercise wasn’t going to be a regular thing, and eating well would be doable but a struggle, but I thought surly I could stay away from meds for nine months. I rarely take meds when I’m not pregnant! But alas, that was not that case. I felt like I’d failed to take care of the baby.  But then, a dear friend of mine, who is pregnant with her second, sent me a wonderful bit of encouragement.

First rule of mommyhood, you are not a failure. Ever! You will always do the best you can with the circumstances you’re given. That’s all God asks of us & that’s all our baby asks of us. You’ll forget to change your baby’s diaper and he will get a diaper rash but that does not make you a failure. You’ll be one step too far from him and he’ll fall and get a bruise on his head, not a failure. You’ll have a kid that bites another kid or hits another kid… Still not a failure. These are just parts of parenting that every mom goes through.

That lifted my spirits and gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, I really could do this mom thing. It also made me realize that I must differentiate between disappointment in a situation and feeling like a life failure. When things don’t go the way I plan them, or when I don’t achieve something I set out to do, my automatic reaction is to label myself a failure. The reality is, it’s simply a disappointing situation, not a sign that I suck at everything! I better get used to it, because from what I hear, raising kids never goes according to plan.

So, I got through the emotional aspect of taking meds (side note, now that I’m pregnant it seems that EVERY situation has an emotional aspect. Its exhausting). Then I actually took the drugs and felt even better! The nausea was greatly reduced, I had more energy, I could think a little more clearly and for the rest of the week I actually made it through 8 hours of work a day. I don’t want to get to far ahead of myself, but I’m thinking I might actually be able to start exercising next week. So, turns out the thing that I thought would make me a bad mom is actually making me a better one, as I now have energy to take better care of myself and baby. Thank you Jesus for good friends and prescription drugs!