Tag Archives: orange county mom blog

Catching up with the Xander House

Standard

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have blogged. I had planned on being this awesome, witty mom blogger who wrote 2-3 blogs a week, networked with other mom bloggers and got paid to advertise products on my sidebar. Now look at me. Its been months since my last post and I don’t even have a custom URL yet. Where did I go wrong?

Well let me tell you.

First of all, this working mom gig is so much harder than I thought it would be. I’m lucky enough to be able to bring AJ to work with me three days a week. This is fantastic for mother/baby bonding. Not so fantastic for work productivity. But somewhere inbetween the daily struggle that is nap time, diaper changes, nursing every 2-3 hours and rotating him to various play things every 20 minutes, I’ve managed to find time to blog for work, maintain our Facebook page, manage the building of another web site (I thought those days were behind me but I just can’t get away from it), complete numerous copy writing projects AND make sure my favorite 11 year old gets her homework done, kindly tell her when her when she needs to wear a bra with certain tops, and coach her on how to deal with her first boyfriend. Yay me!

Just as I was figuring all that out, the Mr and I decided to buy a condo. Because really, life just isn’t exciting enough with two full time jobs, an infant and the daily struggle to keep your marriage sane. So why not throw a condo in there. Not just any condo, but a condo that needs a lot of work. All new floors, new counters in the kitchen, a completely revamped bathroom and paint in every room. And that’s just the stuff that has to get done before we move in. There’s a whole list of things we’ll need to be upgrading over the next two years. It’s insane to buy a fixer upper at this point in our lives, but Joe’s dad blessed us with an offer we absolutely could not refuse. So here we are, in the middle of an escrow that keeps getting pushed back, working on every single spare minute and hoping that we get everything done in time to host our annual Easter celebration in our new place!

Plus, would you believe that even in the midst of all this craziness laundry keeps piling up? And my and the Mr’s stomachs still demand three square meals a day? And that damn bathroom keeps getting dirty. And don’t even get me started on the dog. Luckily we’ve got my parents to help out with a lot of these things, but the fact is that life doesn’t stop just because we are raising a baby and fixing up a condo.

So why haven’t I been blogging? Because I can barely find time to sleep, much less type out a coherent thought. But I took Facebook off my phone, which will free up an embarrassing amount of time, so lets see if I can’t get back into the swing of this blogging thing. Because honestly, mama wants a new washer and dryer and could really use some side bar advertisers to help pay for it 😉

Advertisements

First Time Mommy First Time Holidays

Standard

First time mom’s are annoying. They panic about everything, they post a million photos of their babies on Facebook, and caring for their child has sucked out all their brain cells so the only things they are capable of thinking or talking about are kid related. I’ve tried very hard over the past 5 weeks to not be an annoying first time mom. I haven’t always been successful (as my Facebook friends can attest too) but I’ve put forth a gallant effort. But here’s the thing. The holidays are coming up and I can feel the first time mom craziness getting stronger. I have this crazy urge to teach my infant son how to bake sugar cookies he isn’t even old enough to eat yet. I want to carve a giant pumpkin, stick my kid in it, and set him on the porch to amuse trick or treaters. I want to spend $100 to take my baby to Disneyland for Christmas time, even though he’ll spend the entire day nursing or sleeping and caring for him means I won’t get to go on any rides. It’s safe to say that as I gear up to celebrate my first holiday season with a child, I will not be able to control the crazy. Here are some of the fun things you can expect to see/hear about in the upcoming months.

Photos of AJ  dressed as a pumpkin sitting in a pumpkin patch

I use the term “sitting” loosely because he won’t be old enough to sit on his own when we visit pumpkin patches (yes we will visit multiple patches). But you can bet your booty I’ll find a way to prop him up amongst the squash and take a gazillion photos with annoying captions like ” my little pumpkin in the pumpkin patch.”

Dressing AJ up in multiple Halloween costumes

Joe and I just have too many good ideas. The baby from The Hangover. Baby in a straight jacket onesie. The previously mentioned pumpkin outfit. We might drag this out and make dressing up a week long event.

Taking AJ trick or treating

Haven’t decided if we will go trick or treating or go trunk or treating at the church carnival, but either way I’m using my baby’s cuteness to score some free candy.

Taking photos of AJ next to the turkey and laughing about their closeness in size

I hate it when people post pictures of food on Facebook, but I will break my own rules about food posts to show you that my baby is roughly the size of a turkey. I’ll probably throw in a joke about them looking similar because both are bald. And I will expect you to like the photo because babies and turkeys are comedy gold. I mean, who doesn’t want to think about babies as they stuff their faces with meat carcass? You’re welcome.

Buying Christmas presents

The kid will be 4 months old at Christmas. I could wrap up the toys he already has and he wouldn’t know the difference. Heck, I could get him nothing and he wouldn’t care. If I were a truly rational parent, I would get him nothing and invest all his gift money into a college fund. But I’ve already started scoping out toys that are appropriate to give to a 4 month old. And its very possible I will go Black Friday shopping with my sister in law to get said toys. First time momming at its finest.

Volunteering my child to play Jesus in the live Nativity at church

Yes, I am conceited enough to think my child can lay still in a manger for hours whilst portraying the holy and perfect Son of God. You disagree? Shut up, I’ll cut you.

Visiting Santa

This is particularly ridiculous for me because Joe and I don’t plan on telling AJ that Santa is real. So why waste time and energy taking him to visit Santa? One of the rules of being first time mom is that you must take advantage of as many photo opportunities as possible. This is especially true during the holidays. Besides, the Santa at Disney’s Grand Californian is so real looking, its possible that after one picture our whole family may start believing in the magic that is Santa.

I’m sure I’ll think of plenty of other ridiculous things to do with my baby to celebrate the holidays. Feel free to poke fun at me, but don’t be too harsh. Because while I’m aware that I’m being crazy, the truth of the matter is you only get to celebrate your first time mom holidays once, and I want to make the most of it 🙂

Things Strangers Should Not Say to Pregnant Women

Standard

I’m 40 weeks 5 days and feeling sassy, this should be a good read for you all.

Dear manager at the local bagel shop,

This morning you told me my son hasn’t dropped yet. No shit, Sherlock. Do you think that after carrying this child around for 40+ weeks, I’m still not in tune enough with my body to know when a 7lbs human drops into my pelvis? Trust me, I’ll know. Also, I don’t appreciate your implication that because he hasn’t dropped, it will still be quite a while until I go into labor. Are you a medical professional? No, you aren’t because if you were, you would know what my midwife, an ACTUAL medical professional, knows and that is that babies drop differently. Some weeks before, some days and some don’t drop until labor actually starts. I come to you for delicious bagels after my dr appt (during which a medical professional informed me that I was making progress and could see a baby this week) and all you do is rain on my parade? Not cool, man, not cool. 

Dear Carls Jr Manager,

You really shouldn’t guess the gender of your customers babies. You’re much better off just asking. And if you do guess wrong, don’t try to prove yourself right! Yes I’m carrying high, but that doesn’t automatically mean that I’m having a girl. I’ve had an ultrasound tech, radiologist and midwife all look at my ultrasounds and confirm that my baby is a boy. Do you honestly think that your 10 second assessment of my belly is more reliable than that? I don’t care that you’ve correctly guessed the gender of 100 pregnant women’s babies. In fact, that kind of creeps me out. But anyways, its not even that impressive because each time you have a 50% chance of getting it right. But this time you got it wrong. If you want to be in obstetrics so bad, go team up with bagel guy and head to medical school, otherwise give me my Santa Fe chicken sandwich, congratulate me on having a boy, and walk away.    

Dear fellow customer at the grocery store,

Generally, it’s not a good idea to comment on the size of babies or pregnant moms that you don’t know. See, you thought you were just making conversation by telling me that my baby “looks big.” What you don’t know is that my husband was 12lbs when he was born and my biggest fear this whole pregnancy is that I will birth a toddler. So now you’ve just freaked me out AND made me feel like a whale. Seriously, you’re like 60, how do you not know that the best thing to say about a pregnant woman’s looks is simply “you’re glowing”? 

Dear everyone in the world,

Please stop telling me to sleep get in all the sleep i can before the baby comes. Do you think I’ve suddenly decided that this is the time in my life to pull all nighters? Do you think I’m lugging this belly out to the clubs at all sorts of ungodly hours?  Let me put your mind at ease…I’m sleeping. Is it good sleep? No, because I have to get up to pee every two hours and my hips hurt like a mo fo. But I’m doing the best that I can. Also, its not like I can store that stuff up and use to give myself extra energy when the baby comes. No matter how much I sleep now, I will be exhausted when the baby comes. Even the dumbest parents know that. I’m definitely open to advice, but please please please stop with the sleep concerns.